1.10.2013

Like a ton of bricks....

I haven't really posted about this, but it's been on my heart to do so.

If you've been reading for a while, you may have seen my posts about a fellow blog friend's husband dying. I posted here the first time.

Julee and I had been reading each others blogs for several years and chatting on other social media platforms, such as Twitter. We were both experiencing fertility issues and both yearning to be parents.

She was someone I felt like I knew from her blog and we walked many of the same steps as we lived in the same area, at the same time, for a period of time. She is a genuine and sweet person.

Not only did I feel like I knew her, I felt like I knew her husband, Matt. I had been watching him on local news for years and seeing him in everyday life on Julee's blog.

When I got the news that he had passed away, Brent and I had just parked at the fair and were getting ready to get out and unload Knox & Sloane. I hadn't checked my email or been on Twitter or Facebook all morning and I had a random feeling to check my email.

I lost it. I basically went hysterical crying. I felt like I was going to be sick. I then got numb.

Julee had an amazing husband and a precious little girl and their lives were changed forever. Her heart was broken.

We were meeting grandparents at the fair so I hated to leave, but I walked around in a daze and shedding some tears. After a few hours passed, and we were home, I started trying to process it. What happened. Is Julee okay. Poor Preslee. Why is this hurting me so bad. How can I help. This is my worst nightmare. How will she go on.  

It hit me like a ton of bricks and I was consumed.

In the days to follow, I would cry at the drop of a hat; I would think about the Turner's and just lose it. I prayed and prayed they would find peace.

I realized how people felt when Cohen died. I actually don't think it was until then that I did. Of course I had people email me and leave comments, but I never knew the depths until Julee's husband died. I was feeling what so many other people had felt and it hurt. It hurt really bad. They felt this because they had been reading and got to 'know' our family just as I had the Turners.

Everytime I get a Tweet, email, Facebook message, comment about a sick child or person it hurts. I sometimes tell Brent, and while I can see in his eyes or tell by his sigh that it's upsetting and sad to him, occasionally he will say, but Megan you can't let this get to you everyday because sickness is everywhere and because you are apart of the internet world, you hear about it much more. While this is true, he knows being apart of a community on the internet when Cohen was sick really and truly helped us.

My heart physically hurts for those who are sick and their families. I've felt their pain, having experienced the same thing, and it's the worst thing I can imagine dealing with. I know being a part of social media causes me to hear about sickness on a pretty consistent basis and although it makes my heart ache, I'm thankful to be able to pray for these children and families, and spread the word.

We've felt the power of prayer. Those prayers for peace; prayers for more children; prayers for healing.

We are forever grateful that you all surrounded us with your thoughts and your prayers...even when you hurt.

I'll continue to pray for Julee and Preslee and I'm certain they've felt all of your prayers. It's amazing how this community has come together to support them. Julee is so very strong.

I recently received these two prayer requests to share...

  • I received a Facebook message this morning from one of my readers, Lindsey, sharing about her niece, Jamie FAITH Douglas. She is seven months old and she is sick. She doesn't have a complete diagnosis yet, but they know her brain did not fully develop. Lindsey started a Facebook page for Jamie where there will be updates, fundraisers and pictures. They are currently selling t-shirts and bracelets. Jamie's mom wrote - 
    • JFD, these are the initials our entire family was guessing a name for our second little miracle. We wanted to wait to find out the gender because we knew it would be one of the greatest surprises of our life. Little did we know we would be blessed with a little girl who would change our lives forever. Since Jamie Faith Douglas has been born we have seen old friendships renewed, family draw close and new friendships develop. Without Jamie Faith these relationships would not exist or would have remained stagnant. God’s purpose for her life has been evident since the day she was born. She will be 10 months on March 24, 2013. She is currently without a diagnosis, but we know that her brain did not fully develop after results of an MRI. She has very low muscle tone making it even more challenging for her to use her muscles. We are praying for a miracle and have the hope that one day she will roll over, crawl, walk and talk. She is currently 6 months behind developmentally and is receiving physical and occupational therapy every week. Our baby girl does not have any trouble eating which is a blessing considering her other issues. On December 31, 2012 our lives were shaken once again when Jamie Faith stopped breathing. After performing CPR, she was immediately rushed to the emergency room at Providence Hospital in Waco, TX. After being intubated, she was carefully transported to McLane Children’s Hospital in Temple, TX to their Pediatric ICU. She quickly recovered and is back home with our family. The only way to describe Jamie’s life is by a miracle.


  • I also received news of another little girl, Taylor. She was born with Congenital Heart Defects, like Cohen, and just received some very unfortunate news that she developed a rare disease after having her Fontan surgery this past summer. Her Facebook page is HERE.
xoxo





5 comments :

  1. I am exactly like you, and motherhood has only amplified it! I used to sit at the computer and bawl my eyes out as I read your blog and my husband told me I had to stop reading it. But I couldn't of course.

    It is hard for me, as a person of faith in God, to understand these things. I recently posted about my struggle with this: http://www.thefourjs.com/2013/01/07/making-sense-of-all-of-the-bad-news/. Check it out if you have a chance!

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  2. Prayers for these families! I am exactly like both of you! I do the same thing, and my husband constantly tells me to stop reading these blogs, because they are so hard on me, but I can't. I need to pray for these women and their families. I know that they would do the same for me if I was hurting and needing prayers.

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  3. I think that you have a pretty cool opportunity in that you get the chance to support all these people in need through prayer and allow them to know there is one more person out there praying. Easier said than done but your husband is also right in not letting each story "get to you." That is the beauty of God and your faith though. You get to pray for them and know it is now in Gods hands. I have many people in my life and family who make unwise choices, and although it is hard, I have made every effort to not let it affect my happiness in my life and with my children because I know it is out of my hands and control anyway. God can do much more than I could dream of doing. I have been reading your blog since you were pregnant with the twins (mine are about 6 weeks younger) and I have always thought when you get all these emails about others "that must be tough but what a neat gift she has been given."

    You come across through your blog as a very sincere, honest, REAL person and I think that is what a lot of people are drawn to. They feel you understand. You have such a beautiful family and you are such a great mom to those adorable, growing twins of yours. I know I appreciate your daily postings, and seeing the way you love your family.

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  4. I am sending many thoughts and prayers to these families.
    My boyfriend always worries about me and my "internet life" because it's just a huge network of wonderful women that I connect to, something bad is bound to happen and then I get completely wrapped up in it. I think it really proves the power of social network, prayer etc. and while I agree with Brent that you can't let it consume you - it's amazing to know that you have all of these people behind you. I love this post Megan - and I think about you and yours frequently! *Hugs*

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  5. This is a very thoughtful and sweet post, Megan. You have a wonderful heart and people gravitate towards you and your blog because of it. BTB gets on to me for "carrying the weight" of so many people because of blogs, but I feel like every prayer count. Raising awareness is important. Raising money for a cause is critical. "Carrying the weight" is just a part of the process.

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