Three Years Ago

October third is a date I will always remember. I took my first positive pregnancy test. It was the first day I knew I was pregnant with Cohen. I didn’t know what the outcome would be of the pregnancy or what would happen in the future, but on that day, I knew that God had plans for us to have children.

I remember feeling this is to good to be true, but my sister-in-law kept assuring me that even though it was a fait line, it was there. After a year of treating PCOS and endometriosis, we got off birth control and began trying. A few weeks later, I was pregnant. Naturally, I thought no way…….

October 3, 2009 was Saturday and I took at least four more tests before calling the doctor first thing on Monday morning. Thankfully, Monday was able to reassure a confirmed pregnancy.

I think about Cohen everyday, but October third is the day I found out about him. February 13th is the day I found out about his heart. June 7th I met him and June 18th I said goodbye to him.

Sometimes I still can’t wrap my mind around those days. I try to cling to the days he was here with us, but it’s hard not to think about how now he isn’t.

I’m thankful for October third. I’m thankful that every October third I will think about 2009 and how special is was that God blessed us with a sweet angel…..even though it was one that couldn’t stay long.

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. – Psalm 139:13-16


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