I'm not going to lie, those weeks were stressful. Not only were Knox & Sloane feeling miserable, I was feeling stressed that they were miserable. I was staying up too late anticipating them to wake up and basically keeping one eye open all night watching the monitor.
When we found out Cohen's heart was broken, my parents literally packed up their 55+ years in Texas and moved to Oklahoma. They moved just a few miles down the road from us. They anticipated that we would need their help.
They were right.
Things obviously ended up quite different, but God clearly knew help would be something we would welcome once we had two dumplings delivered at once.
He was right.
One of the hardest parts for me, when Knox & Sloane are sick, is seeing the non-sick baby want to be held or thinking they both don't feel good and want to be held. The hard part? Not feeling like I can comfort them both, at the same time.
We really hadn't dealt with that until now. When Brent is at work, I hold and snuggle one; I hold and snuggle the other. They go on about their business playing with their toys or trying to jump out of my arms to go chase one another. When they are sick, they want to be held.
At one point a week or so ago, about five minutes into nap time, I could tell they just didn't feel good and probably want to be rocked. I attempted. I had two crying babies, in a rather warm room (it was 105 here that day) in my arms, in the glider, and it wouldn't work. They were ticked and I wanted to cry because they couldn't get comfortable. They were squirming and fussing and while I think they did want to be held, I felt like they didn't want to give up their space so that they could both be held.
I called my mom.
I told her my two arms could not hold two sick babies and I needed her help.
Moms do it all the time. I know, there are moms out there with way more than two kids and they manage just fine when their kids are sick. While I'm 100% certain that I could have managed, neither one of my kiddos can walk or talk. They can't go where they want to go or say what they want to say. In that very moment, all I wanted for them was to be comfortable and get rest, if that's what they wanted.
My mom helped me for a few days. She rocked a baby while I played with one and then we would switch out.
I know Brent was concerned about Knox & Sloane being sick and me being here with no help. He told me to have my mom come help. While I don't ask for help all to often, I definitely have come to realize those moments when I should. We have open arms all around us and my two can't always do everything when Brent isn't home. I also don't want him feeling stressed or worrying about us when he is hard at work.
My parents are a bit older and they can't do a ton of "up and down".... stairs, carrying the babies, etc., but they can do enough that helps so much. I'm thankful Brent and I have been so blessed to have extra arms that are always open if we need them. We have great family and friends.
Yesterday was such a good day with Knox and Sloane. Nothing particular happened or didn't happen. I thought about how they were just laughing and laughing at me while I was dancing in the kitchen while they ate lunch. I've never seen babies laugh as hard as they do at Brent and myself. When I washed bottles and worked on dinner, they ran all around the kitchen area chasing each other, giggling and playing with their toys.
My heart felt so full.
I know before long carrying them up and down the stairs, in my arms, won't exist. They will be going up and down on their own. I won't be juggling putting one in the car while the other waits. They won't want to cuddle in my arms like they do now, maybe not even with their sick. Of course, I hope they do. So even in the moments were I feel like my two arms aren't adequate for all of their needs, I'm going to remember we are always going to have stressful times and good times. God gave me two arms and these two babies for a reason. I'll always be that sappy mom that wants to soak up every second and my two arms will always be capable.