All around us…

I do have lots of precious pictures to share from Christmas, but those will come soon.

Cohen has been on my mind a lot lately, which I know is normal for this time of year, and really, anytime of year. Last year during Christmas it was still so fresh. We were healing and at the same time we were being blessed again. We made cookies for Santa from Cohen and we were pretty consumed with the fact that he wasn’t here with us to celebrate Christmas with us.

On December 17th, last year, we did IUI. On Christmas Eve I started taking positive pregnancy tests. We didn’t have confirmation that we were pregnant or if it was just the trigger shot giving me positive tests, but I hoped and prayed that 2011 would bring Cohen’s little brother or sister. Well,  He (and Cohen) had bigger things in store as we welcomed Cohen’s brother and sister in 2011.

Every Christmas we will include Cohen in some of our traditions. He will always be apart of our family. Every Christmas I will think about how six months after Cohen went to Heaven, we had broken and hopeful hearts at Christmas. With all things said, it might have been exactly six months to the day that we conceived his brother and sister. Cohen wasn’t here with us for his first Christmas and won’t be for any others, but I pray Knox & Sloane will be.

My heart was so full this Christmas. I think back to a year ago. I was hurting, but so optimistic. I can’t believe a year later and I was holding two babies in my arms who were laughing and smiling at me. I know there is so much of Cohen in them. Whether it’s in their looks or personalities. In many ways, he is still all around us and I’m so thankful for that.

I honestly can’t remember if I indicated, but we had special hearts on both the babies’ announcement and our Christmas card this year that included Cohen. I hope to do that every year for the holiday card. We are getting him a stocking as well. I like the idea of putting notes in it every year.  Knox & Sloane can as well.

And because I do love to bake and make cookies, I have a feeling Knox & Sloane will enjoy doing that, too :) This year, for Christmas, they got an alphabet cookie cutter set. I thought every Christmas it would be fun for them to leave a “K”, “S” & “C” for Santa :)

I’ll be curious to see how well BT holds up, physically, as we tote him around, too :)

This is one of my favorites…..

{No, I didn’t get the tree decorated, haha….or the lights on good, for that matter.}

Luke 2:13-20
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger.
When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child,and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them.But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.



  1. says

    I have always loved the verse where Mary 'pondered'these things. Perhaps because I am a 'ponderer.' Oddly enough, the miscarriage that my daughter had several years ago touched me more this year as I pondered that missing life. I like how you incorporate Cohen in your traditions, etc. Someday I think it will mean a lot to Knox and Sloane as well. Who cares about the lights and ornaments anyway? :)

  2. says

    What a beautiful post. I think it's so special that you include Cohen in your traditions and I love how he will be forever woven into the lives of his family.

  3. says

    I love all the ways you keep Cohen's memory alive … I think the C, S, K cookies each year are a wonderful way to connect all three of your children … its kinda like they get to do something 'together' … I also love the idea of writing notes in Cohen's stocking each year … I truly think you are an amazing mommy! And your babies get cuter everytime I look at them!!! :) :)

  4. says

    I love all the ways you keep Cohen's memory alive … I think the C, S, K cookies each year are a wonderful way to connect all three of your children … its kinda like they get to do something 'together' … I also love the idea of writing notes in Cohen's stocking each year … I truly think you are an amazing mommy! And your babies get cuter everytime I look at them!!! :) :)

  5. says

    I know it's a bit off topic, but not all the way: I went and looked at Cohen's delivery slideshow a few days ago, and it was so very moving and beautiful. What a little fighter he was, and what brave, loving parents he has! Thank you for sharing your precious son (and twins, too) with us.

  6. says

    Thanks for a post that hit home for me today. You reminded me that there is always a reason to be optimistic even when you are going thru a challenging time. Very different situation than what you were facing a year ago, but your words of maintaining hope thru what you were going thru struck a chord with me, something I needed. Thank you…enjoy those precious babies…sitting with my now 2 year old today, I was remembering our first Christmas with him. It will always be a special thing! Love how you are keeping Cohen a part of your traditions!

  7. says

    Megan your life is such a hopeful and beautiful story! I am so happy that God has blessed you and Brent with your little angels!

    I blogged about Lainey's first Christmas. Such a special day! Merry Christmas! xx

    Don't forget to enter my giveaway! Tomorrow is the last day :)

  8. says

    Thank you for this post today. I needed to read it. In August, I lost my baby daughter after delivering her at almost 24 weeks. I thought for sure I'd have a positive pregnancy test this Christmas, but I was wrong. I've been so emotional all weekend, missing my baby girl and upset that I got my hopes up that we would be pregnant again this Christmas. I hope to write a post like this one day. I'm so glad you have been blessed after so much heartache.

  9. says

    I just wanted to share with you that at our wedding rehearsal in 1985 we learned that my husband's brother and his wife had given birth to a baby boy who passed away shortly after birth. His name was Josiah. Just this past year, Josiah's big sister, Amy gave birth to a beautiful baby boy who she named Josiah. It's such a blessing for our family to finally have our baby Josiah. Of course, he can't replace the first Josiah, but he's done so much to help heal the broken hearts of those parents who lost their baby. I'm somewhat amazed, that although none of us ever got to know him, he's not forgotten and he's had an impact on the brother and sister who grew up without him. I hope that Sloane and Knox will have that same feeling for their big brother, Cohen. Merry Christmas to your beautiful little family!

  10. says

    I love stocking idea! That is so sweet! We've enjoyed yalls card and candle so much this holiday season! But, we really appreciate the friendship we've formed over the last year!

    I would of never guessed when I stumbled upon on your blog in 2009, and we were both preggers.. That we would become "in real life blog friends." But, I am so glad we have!

    Sorry for the sappy comment… I'm back to normal now! :)

  11. says

    I'm so glad you guys had a good Christmas. I also love that you incorporated Cohen in the season and the things you did. I'm sure he's watching over you all and blowing kisses and happiness your way.
    The babies could not be more precious.
    Really and truly we need to have a baby's meet each other date one of these days.

  12. says

    Your precious babies loved the lights on the tree, and didn't even know anything else was suppose to be on it! Such a beautiful post, with wonderful memories of sweet Cohen. My "Angel Granddaughter" Madelyn whom we lost at 4 mos. of age in 2007 is always remembered at Christmas, with a new ornament with the year and her name. I usually try and find one with an angel, as she will always be my special angel, and live in my heart forever.
    Cohen will never be farther then a thought away from you!

    God Bless Sloane & Knox!
    A Mom-Mom in NJ

  13. says

    That last picture melts my heart. I love all of the ways you all continue to honor Cohen and integrate him into your family traditions. Knox and Sloane are so lucky to have you all as their parents. Happy New Year!

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