At first I was going to use the word “mommy” instead of parent. However, I somewhat write this knowing how Brent and I both felt/feel. Luckily, he has been home for a month and experienced all of this as I have.
Brent and I became parents a long time ago, but with the term “new” I’m referring to having new babies home with us 😉
So, the first two weeks were hard. We were in LOVE with Knox & Sloane, but scared. Part of me had a sense for the way I would feel when we got them home, but part of me had no idea.
Our biggest goal was keeping them alive. As newborns and being a few weeks early, they needed a little help doing things. Their lives depended on us taking care of them. We honestly weren’t sure how much they could do on their own and what we really needed to do to help. It was a lot to think about. Our hearts and minds are/were also fragile from Cohen. Part of me still just could not get over the fact that we actually got to bring Knox and Sloane home. I still think back to delivery, in the operating room, when my doctor said, “they are perfect!” My first thought was honestly, was, Really? Are you sure? My entire pregnancy I felt Knox & Sloane would come out and be perfect, but still I couldn’t believe it.
So, needless to say, after the loss of Cohen our anxiety, when we got home, was a little higher than expected. We had already experienced the death of one of our children and we weren’t up for it happening again. It was easy to forget, we weren’t really in control of what was happening. We could not have prevented what happened with Cohen and Knox & Sloane are all part of God’s plan as well.
We had been around lots of babies. However, during the play times, nap times and times when they were with their parents. Because you know, parents know what they are doing and how to take care of them. Right?
Brent and I had never taken a class or been overnight with a newborn, much less two! We didn’t know you have to hold one side of the nose to get a good suction of stuff out on the other. We didn’t know that we needed to suction aminotic fluid quickly because as newborns, they sometimes have a lot coming out those first few days, especially after a c-section delivery. We didn’t know a little spit up is normal or that babies do like to be swaddled really tight. Who knew swaddling helped with digestion even? Who knew babies really need not to be held too much in the beginning? They get sore and need rest to grow. Well, these are things Brent and I really did not know.
So, Knox and Sloane are born and they are healthy. We are in the hospital only a few days and all head home. We get home, they get stuffy, have some infant choking-on-spit spells, etc. Well, we knew babies cry, but we wanted to automatically know why they were crying. I knew that it could be determined…because I heard moms talk about it. However, I was lacking on patience. I felt guilty that they were crying and I wasn’t sure why.
I was doing good at breastfeeding them both, but they were still learning; I was still learning and I wanted to make sure they were getting enough. They were. They started gaining right away and were back up to birth weight in no time. Breastfeeding may be different post. It is working well for us right now, but if I have to give Knox & Sloane formula in the future, so be it. I want healthy and happy babies. I don’t want to live up to, or take part in any stigmas placed on breastfeeding. It is great for your baby, but you have to do what is best for you and your baby. Period.
So, we went to the ER during our first week home…actually maybe the second week, I can’t remember. Everything was fine. They just told us to keep suctioning them because they were stuffy and that they would have some breathing that looked funny, but was actually completely normal. I can’t even remember the term.
So, while our mommy and daddy instincts kicked in, we still had high anxiety of doing things right and not knowing if they were okay. They were tiny. Well, at first we thought we would let them stay in our room for a while. We could watch their every move. Like I was thinking three or four months. That is just what I heard some parents and/or twin parents had done. Well, those first two weeks, they were right by our side. It was sweet and perfect, but nights were rough.
We were forming habits and routines that just wouldn’t work for the long run….you know, with two babies.
I had heard SO much over the past ten months. The internet and books can be very helpful, but talk about conflicting opinions, advice, knowledge and facts! So, by the time Knox & Sloane were here, it was all just up to Brent and I. Thankfully, I had Twitter and blog mommies to reach out to, as well as real life help. It was kind of like we were starting fresh and I couldn’t really revert back to what I had read or heard.
Oh, might I throw in that my hormones were DOUBLE! I cried for no reason. I laughed when I cried. I freaked out very easily. I mean, wowzers. So, to top off bringing to tiny, perfect little babies home, their mom was a basket case! Their dad wanted their mom to be okay and for them to be okay.
No, no postpartum depression. I honestly never worried about that and thankfully it didn’t rear it’s head. I figured if I survived what we went through with Cohen without depression, chances were pretty slim I’d have any issues with these precious bundles entering our world. I was extremely happy they were here and and healthy, but I was drained from zero sleep! I didn’t really feel tired, though, because I was running on adrenaline. That’s about the only struggle I faced, along with the anxiety.
Those first two weeks, I kept saying to Brent, this is normal. I knew it was normal, but the anxiety was a step up from what I expected. Brent kept saying, people do this, crack heads do this, we can do this. We could, and we did. Sure, we had moments when we were worried we weren’t going to get spit sucked out quick enough and the babies were just early enough and little enough, they were having a hard time doing it on their own. God has in hand on things, because even though it was scary sometimes, we got through it just fine and today things are much calmer because we feel confidant in what we are doing.
Towards the end of the second week when we were home, I was tweeting about some questions and Laura, from Moms On Call, tweeted back at me. I remembered that Erin had gifted us the 0-3 months Moms On Call seminar and we had heard such great things. We hadn’t watched it but we did quickly. Soon after, I had some questions for Laura, who is one of the co-founders of MOC. She replied and let me know some very very good advice. She also let me know that she would love to come show us some basics, tricks and get some things set up for us to hopefully get a routine started. If you are a mom of multiples, you will know how important and routine and schedule is, which I had been hearing for ten months. So, thankfully Laura came for a bit to help us!
To read about Moms On Call, go here. Two moms and nurses have created a fantastic program for moms needing a little help! Whether you have a newborn or toddler, they are there to help with any type of question. I believe everything they are doing and teaching is and will greatly help moms and little ones. Actually, they have testaominals from all over their world that prove that it is 🙂
Knox and Sloane have done awesome since Laura left. The things we learned are soothing, gentle and right for them. Moms On Call is definitely an on-going learning experience for us, but it was so nice to see a seminar of basic things that make a vast difference as well as have someone just come to the home and show us, with our babies, some helpful tips!
One of the biggest helps to me is the EMAIL! Laura emails with me. When I have a question and want to second guess myself, I just ask her. Sure, there are things I just have to trust myself because I do know my babies better than anyone, but Laura is a nurse and she can just give me some reassurance and lessen my anxiety. She has been exactly where I am. She has had twins! She has been at home with them while both are screaming and crying and wanting their milk! Plus, she had other kids to tend to as well!
I know there are all kinds of opinions regarding schedules, routines and babies, but Brent and I feel confident this is what is best for Knox & Sloane. We were both so excited to tell people about Laura and Moms On Call when she left. I overheard Brent on the phone telling his co-workers, about “this program for parents that can come to your home and show you some things that really help you get the hang of it all as well as get on a routine for the day and night times. It really helped Megan and I feel more confidant.”
Right now, there are four arms and four legs in the nursery napping. There is one of me. I have to feel confident in being able to take care of them by myself. As of today, Brent is working outside the home again. Babies can feel your anxiousness, nervousness, tenseness, etc. I thank Moms On Call for helping me relax and just take it one step at a time, while getting Knox & Sloane on a schedule, with a routine, that will help them thrive, but not allow them to completely run this household 😉 Sure, I still have my moments, mostly during the night, but I think it’s getting better all the time.
Laura showed us many things that you can see on the seminar or experience from an in-home consult. One of them was bathing. Knox and Sloane now LOVE bath time and we do it every night! It helps them relax and get ready for bed. Here is Laura with Sloane. Soap is on her towel and she is just chilling, haha.
Here is Brent giving Knox is bath about a week later.
I now do know what a lot of their cries are. It just took time to learn. Also, after two weeks, Knox and Sloane are in their nursery, in a crib. We have a schedule. Sure, things don’t always go as planned. They are growing babies with changing needs, but we know we can adjust with confidence and they will be happy again. We hold them, rock them, play with them. All normal baby things. We just do it in a way that gives us all some sanity 🙂
Moms On Call did not ask me to post this. I did because I am thankful for their program and I believe in it! They can address pretty much any issue you have with your little one ranging from newborns to toddlers! With EIGHT kids between them, and being nurses, they have most things covered!
Tomorrow, I will be giving away a special moms on call treat AND offering you all a wonderful deal from Moms On Call! Stay Tuned 🙂
Don’t forget, – I teamed up with BlogHer to try out OnStar’s new OnStar FMV system for our vehicle! It’s SO nice to have. Check out our review here!