Thankfully, as pregnant as I am, my emotions don’t seem to be running all that high right now.
I think any crying taking place is mostly because there are times when my body can’t function how I’d like for it to. For example, Brent having to lift me up out of bed this morning because I got turned over and swung my feet off the bed, but then couldn’t lift up.
I think the one emotional thought coming and going is bringing Knox and Sloane home. I keep telling myself, that’s not our normal. I don’t think it’s abnormal to be thinking this, considering what we’ve been through, and I certainly try to shrug the thoughts off quickly. I tell myself we don’t have a normal. However, almost fourteen months ago we left the hospital, after being pregnant for 10 months and having a baby, without a baby. That’s all we know…so far.
Everything in me tells me Knox and Sloane are healthy and will be fine, but how am I not to be anxious to be certain?
Of course, now, so much more makes sense to me about Cohen and our situation last year. We thought we were moving; we packed all of our belongings and moved them to Brent’s grandmother’s basement; we never set up a nursery, not even a crib; I barely bought anything. The list actually goes on. Looking back, I think God did do a lot to protect us knowing we wouldn’t bring Cohen to our home, he would go to His.
Things are 100% completely opposite things year, with Knox & Sloane. However, when doing something like making a pink and blue bow for the front door wreath still makes me think what it a baby girl and boy don’t come home. I don’t think this way all the time. It just happens occasionally and I hate when it does, but I do think it’s normal.
I’m just ready to have them home.
It made my heart sink when we did a meet and greet with a pediatrician this week and when he asked what questions we had, the first thing that came out of Brent’s mouth was, “how do we keep the babies alive?” My first thought was to maybe giggle and I think Brent’s was, too, but in the same instance, that was a completely normal question. That is part of the process of bringing home a baby (or multiple babies.) No, it’s not technically in our hands, but whatever role we can do to help, we want be as prepared as we can. We know there is nothing more we could have done to keep Cohen alive, but again, it’s all we know.
I have been getting lots of questions about Knox & Sloane’s upcoming arrival. Are you ready? Are you scared? Are you going to go back to work?
Yes, I’m ready. I am so ready. I can’t wait to meet, see and bring home our babies 🙂
Yes, I’m scared. I’m not extremely scared. More so anxious. See above.
No. I won’t be going back to work for a while. I’ll elaborate more on that later.
All the other questions that I have been asked, I’m sure you can guess those answers! I’m SO EXTREMELY excited! I can’t wait to share their arrival with you all as well 🙂
As some of you might guess, comments probably would make me emotional. You guys really are fantastic when it comes to encouragement and the right things to say. Instead of comments today, just think positive thoughts, prayers, etc. for us over the next few weeks. We will greatly appreciate it 🙂
For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. – 1 Samuel 1:27