A year ago today, I was posting about my anticipation to have Cohen. This was my last blog post before he would arrive. I knew we would be waking up bright and early to welcome him into this world. We had been warned. No one knew if he would be breathing when he came out or not. We didn’t know if he would be crying or not.
This was one of the first pictures we got of his whole little body.
I had a pretty perfect pregnancy with entire time. I started and did “prego mego” updates every week, which can also be found on Cohen’s page.
However, at 23 weeks we found out Cohen’s heart was very broken. Nothing prepared us for that appointment and we were devastated. We were given little hope, but decided we would do everything in our power to figure out if our baby boy could survive his diagnoses. We traveled to find a doctor and hospital that would give Cohen and fighting chance. We changed our lives and prepared to welcome him. You can read more about our journey until Cohen’s birth under “Cohen’s Story” up top.
Brent and I made sure to enjoy every moment of our “time” with Cohen even before he arrived.
We were way busier than we wanted to be, but doing what needed to be done. We wouldn’t take back any of it.
From the moment we found out about Cohen’s heart, we were given the most unbelievable support. It still makes me emotional thinking about. I constantly think about the people that prayed for us, reached out to us, donated to us, lent a helping and the list goes on. I also think about how my hormones never relaxed enough for me to write each and every person a thank you note because I ended up soaking the notes with tears.
The night before I wondered what was going to happen. I didn’t sleep at all. I was going into surgery for a c-section. Cohen would no longer be living and thriving as he had been inside me. I really wanted him to stay put because I knew he was okay. No one really knew what would happen when he came out. It was the most scared I had probably been since finding out about his heart.
Thankfully, Cohen came into this word breathing and crying. It was the best sound we had ever heard…
He was perfect. Everything except his heart, anyways.
Today, I suppose I’m anticipating how I will feel tomorrow, on Cohen’s first birthday. So far, my guess is really sad. For instance, today all I do now is vaguely think about it an my eyes fill with tears, fast. Yes, I’m sure this is normal. I suppose I anticipate everything birthday to probably be this way and perhaps the first one being the toughest. Of course, I don’t know because I’ve never been through this.
We will always acknowledge and celebrate his life. His 12 days with us were amazing and so was he. I will talk more about this week, hopefully. Honestly, I have no idea what my posts will be like this week or any I do regarding Cohen right now. I just don’t know if I can get out what I might be thinking because my hormones are going extra crazy and are making me extra emotional. So, in those cases, a picture is worth a thousand words, and luckily, we have lots of pictures of our little guy 🙂
Some posts this week I may close comments just because, once again, I don’t know if my emotions can handle them. Of course, tomorrow I will have them on so you can wish Cohen a Happy Birthday 🙂
Thankfully, Brent and I will be home with each other tomorrow.