My journey to parenthood thus far....

Yesterday when my sister-in-law got home she was with her mother-in-law. They both told me right away a girl would be calling me shortly. I guess they know a girl who is about to start Lupron Depot shots and is extremely nervous and stressed out about it. They told her that I had just got through them and to give me a call with any questions and a good piece of mind. While I know everyone's situation is different, I was trying to think in my mind what I would say to her.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I probably thought this because most of the stories i read on the Internet were scary painful ones. I think people don't often go back to message boards if they had okay, decent or pleasant experiences and tell those stories. Don't get me wrong, I know it is REALLY bad for some people. And yes, there were several days a month that were very miserable but I constantly kept thinking about that light at the end of the tunnel. I tried not to think "what if this doesn't work?"... "what if I can't have a baby"...."what if I can't have a baby as quickly as I need to so the endo/PCOS doesn't return?".. "what if....what if .....what if..."...As much as I thought about what was going on, I never had a pessimistic attitude. I just prayed and prayed and thought to myself if He will bring me to it, He will bring me through it. Those hot miserable menopausal nights wouldn't last forever....and yes, I may have said "what WILL I do if for some reason I DON'T come out of menopause?!?"...I knew I would though. That was part of the plan...part of His plan.

Not only was I shocked that I got pregnant as quickly as I did, my nurses were too. The doctor never lead on as to if he was. He prays for the best outcomes. He told me so. I say we are lucky. Hubby and I are lucky that I was only a super bitch for about 6 months and then our journey became easier? Did it? We have no idea. It is right now. I think being pregnant can sometimes feel as scary as trying to become pregnant. I'm one of those people that may get stressed but not really act on it....or it may not even be apparent to me. It may come through my skin or more hormones but I try not to let it "get" to me. God knows that about me. I knew the stress of trying to have a baby could possibly hit me hard and maybe work against me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not stressed right now. I'm in lala happy land :) However, my nurses told me not to mess with ovulation tests and what not...to just go with the flow for 3 months. After 3 months they were going to re-evaluate. I didn't listen. When you want something, you want something. Not to mention, the doctor had said, ultimately the quicker we could get pregnant after Lupron shots, the better. I took the ovulation tests. I took the Dollar Tree ovulation tests. There was a chance I wasn't going to ovulate but luckily, the Metformin did it's job, and I did. I knew when I ovulated because of the ovulation tests.

People say "don't stress, just be patient." That is easier said than done snd more than likely if you've tried to get pregnant and it didn't happen right away, you know that. Or if you wanted to be pregnant but were having to be on birth control instead...or...or...or...there are tons of situations people face that our different. While I prayed for patience, God already knew what was in store. We are lucky. We are lucky it happened so quick. However, getting pregnant really isn't all about luck.

I hate that people have to suffer and go through SO much to become parents but that's God's plan. As I said above, it's easier said than done. Going through TTC is not easy. Something that scares me for so many people is doctors. Don't get me wrong, I think doctor's are truly a gift from God. However, some doctors have different opinions, different treatments and different workloads. Essentially, a doctor may do a lot of guiding through the journey of TTC. Had it not been one doctor, it would be another. If I didn't like my fertility doctor, God probably would have sent me a sign and I would have switched.

My mom has a friend in the town in which she lives that has a daughter with PCOS. The difference between her doctor and my doctor? Her doctor told her there was nothing you could really do to treat PCOS and gave her a hysterectomy. Yes, you heard me. My mom called me distressed when she heard this and you can only imagine what her friend said and felt when she told her I too had PCOS and was currently pregnant.

If you have a feeling, switch doctors. Get second opinions. Pray.

I will say by the way things were going we would have more than likely not gotten pregnant on our own. I wasn't ovulating with the PCOS. If we were to have, I wouldn't have carried the baby long because of the septum. We are extremely thankful that my problems were found and fixed before we started trying. It would have pushed things back several years or more had things not happened the way the did. At annual appointments, most patients only have pap smear done. They don't really do much unless you are have having issues. Well, you can certainly request lab work. It might not all be covered by insurance but you don't have to pay for it upfront. My regular Obgyn said I showed signs of PCOS just by looking at my lab work that she took. So really, I don't know why lab work isn't don't once a year. I just don't see a need not to be proactive. So, you can certainly keep that in mind if you would like to have a baby in the future.

I think I've started to ramble. This all started because I get emails from people. People to tell people to call me to discuss what I've been through. To me, I've not been through NEAR the amount as a lot of people out there have. I went through quite a lot compacted into one year and for THAT.... I thank God for every single day. I thank him for blessing us with this baby in my belly. I'm enjoying every single second of being pregnant. I know how important that is. I know because I've read about people who have only had weeks to enjoy it. I've talked to people that didn't know what they had until it was gone. I know how big of a deal this is and I know that it can change at any second. Once again though, I try to live optimistically.

If my situation were different than it is right now, I may feel differently. I know I would because that is the way things work. I wouldn't be able to say all the things I have above. I know TTC can be a sensitive subject to any hormonal woman. I'm certainly not wanting to force my opinions on anyone, I just want to give advice if you want it. I will tell you my story, if you want to hear it. People are asking. So that is where this post was born. It's in my nature to want to help people and sympathize. You may say, well...you've only been through one year of hell and I've been through three. While this is true, I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have blogs out there to read about people in similar situations. I don't know what I would have done if I never asked one person any questions. If I would have never had any encouragement or praise, I wouldn't have given up...but each comment, email or phone call gave me a smile.

While I know all things are possible.. I'm that possibility :) My parents tried for about 1o years. They adopted a baby boy. They brought him home on January 4, 1983...guess who was born one year to the day later? Yes, my birthday is January 4, 1984 :)

I never got the phone call from the girl my SIL and her MIL mentioned. However, I've been thinking about trying to get her phone number. I hate to think how bad she is stressing.

I've gotten two emails in the past two weeks.....

Hello my name is Casey. I live in ---------. A very good friend of mine found your blog and shared it with me. I believe we have several things in common. Endo, dupro shots, ttc, and Boston terriers. I am not a blogger just a blog reader. I would like to visit with you over the phone about your success with dupro and your timeframe from surgery and becoming p.g. I took six months of dupro starting in May three days after surgery to remove a cysts and discovered endo. I finished the shots in Oct but I still have not began my cycle. My number is listed below if you feel comfortable sharing thoughts, helpful tips, or anything. Congratulations and Praise God for your little miracle.

Here is part of the reply I sent to Casey. (It was the time line I experienced in becoming pregnant.)

-In Feb 08 I got off of birth control. It was just not agreeing with my body and I was forgetting to take it.
-From Feb 08 to July 08 I would have irregular and very light periods. I would maybe spot a day and bleed a day at different times of the month.
-Finally, after 60 days I had nothing so I went to my normal OB (Sept 08). She did lab work and said the results showed signs of PCOS. You didn't mention PCOS below so not sure if you know what it is.. It is Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. It is basically chronic cysts on the ovaries. In my case, and in most I believe....carbs and sugar were building these cysts.
-In Oct 08 I went to a new doctor that specialized in fertility who did indeed diagnosed me with PCOS. While I was having an ultrasound, he found the septum in my uterus and scheduled my operation to repair it.
-End of Nov 08 I had surgery on the septum and it was repaired. While in surgery, my doctor found endo. I believe he said it was at a 2 out of 4. He lasered as best he could.
- After surgery I took a round of birth control Dec 08. Birth Control is good for the uterus and doctor wanted it to help with the healing after my surgery.
-In Jan 09 I started the Lupron Depot shots. I had a shot once a month Jan 09-June 09
-Starting in May 09, I began taking Metformin. It is a drug that also treats diabetes. It also helps with PCOS as it helps the body to process carbs and sugar.
-After my last shot I began taking birth control. Once again, very good for the uterus. I took three rounds of birth control. June, July & Aug (09).
-Each month when I went into the doctor, the checked my labs and all the levels they needed to keep an eye on.
-Once I started birth control, I did begin to cycle.
-I had an HSG just check for scar tissue from the surgery and the blockage of any tubes at the end of Aug 09.
-The first day of my last cycle was on Sept 4,
- I took a positive pregnancy test on Oct 3.
- I stayed on the Metformin through the 12th week of pregnancy.

I hope I'm able to answer any questions Casey may have. My first two questions to her were 1)was her doctor able to laser any of the endo or did he only treat it with Lupron 2) is she on BC or did he mention taking it after surgery?

I got this email from Jo...

One of my friends follows your blog and recommended I check it out since I live in ------------ as well technically ---------. I was reviewing your blog and I am impressed with your blog and I wish you the best of luck. I know you are probably wondering why I am emailing you but I just wanted to let you know. I have taken roughly the same journey as you.Last August I was diagnosed with PCOS and they believed I had endometreosis, along with a septum on my uterus. I had a hysterscopy at the end of August where they removed the septum, but noticed instead of endo, like they thought I had several adhesions from my appendix leaking and my boy attacking the fluid as an infections. This infection went onto my fallopian tubes and actually blocked them completely. so in May 2009 I did IVF and it was successful. Right now I am 32 weeks pregnant with boy/girl twins.i just wanted wanted to let you know that I share some of your experiences, and look forward to keeping up with your blog.
Have a happy holiday
Jo

What a blessing this is! If it were one year ago and I read this or emailed Jo and got this reply, I would have been so thankful to hear this. I'm SO happy for her now but it would have been quite encouraging at such a scary time.

So...overall, I think we are all good resources to one another. While nearly every situation is different some are very similar.

I've slacked on my post "labeling" but I think all the posts regarding my fertility of the past year can be found to the left under "fertility" ... I think you can also always search a blog for specific words in the top left corner.

I'll be praying for all of you out there TTC, pregnant and with kiddos :) The prayers just change a bit but God still gets them :)

Oh, and now that I read my previous post about how miserable my sleep has been since becoming pregnant. It seems like I sure was complaining. Well, I was. I can complain every now and then. I mean how bad can things be if all I have to complain about is my lack of sleep, being tired and how nothing sounds good to eat? I rejoice much more. While there might be like 3 things that just kind of...sort of...annoy me. The list of things that don't annoy me? It's probably like 5 pages long :) I do know God wouldn't give me 9 months of perfect sleep and then a newborn baby with no sleep :) Duh. I kind of know how it works ;) I have a new baby nephew less than a mile down the road and I was around when his two sisters were having long nights as newborns, too. I would sleep on a concrete floor...outside... if that's what it took.

xoxo ~ Megan